connexion: the selector

We Collect Our Small Moments Where We Will, Part Two

oh look–autumn’s begun; 29 september 2008

Today shook something loose and I couldn’t stop smiling.

I went on my daily lunch walk and took what felt like a thousand pictures–you know how I am during this time of year.

People really get nuts on their lunch walks, pumping their arms and their legs like the one mile walk is going to do something more than make them feel alive and glad to be outside.

But me, I always just keep my camera in hand, looking for the details that make me so thankful to have eyes.

I wish I could post everything I saw today–maybe I’ll do a series some time…but it seems like in a few weeks there’ll be an ocean of fire in the gutters and along the sidewalks and then,

oh then

you’ll all be in big, big trouble.

Today I decided to lie down in the grass 3/4 the way through my walk because the tree I was under was too beautiful to walk past, all arms and legs a-pumping,

and by magical happenstance these three songs played in exactly this order and I just laid there,

people walking past on a mission

while I just smiled smiled smiled,

because really, what else is there to do?

Autumn is just about here, friends, and I wish I could share it with all of you.

Download: Jens Lekman - Someone to Share My Life With, Maple Leaves (7″ Version) / Andrew Bird - Armchairs (Black Session)
Buy the Album: Jens Lekman - Oh You’re So Silent, Jens / Andrew Bird - Thank you, Internet!

We Collect Our Small Moments Where We Will, Part One

i can (again), seattle, wa; 28 september 2008

Today’s been an entirely lovely Sunday so far.

It’s just about the perfect temperature in my apt and inside my body and I can still smell last night’s cherry blossom and gardenia bath hanging around.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my oldest and best girl making plans for when she moves out to the Northwestern Front later this year.

On the books already:

+ Perfecting Soup

+ Weekend Breakfast

+ Neighborhood Exploration con Camera

+ Making a Shitton of Art Stuff

Also, visiting my new favorite restaurant I’ve never actually been to, Little Red Bike Cafe of Portland, Oregon.

That I live only about 2 hours away from this joint is yet another great thing about being in Seattle. God damn, I am excited to travel down there and visit.

For Seriously: check out their blog and tell me you’re not itching to beat a path down to their digs.

If you’re not down you have no heart.

I mean…let me put it this way:

They inspired me to tell Niki to name her new greyhound puppy (yet to be acquired, but greatly anticipated) Southern Challah French Toast with Oregon Peach Compote, Vanilla Kentucky Bourbon Butter and Real Maple Syrup.

The greatest pet name ever? Probably. Honestly I think it beats my previous favorite for “most radical pet name conceived by me”: Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche & Lou Andreas-Salomé (née Louise von Salomé). I’m kind of obsessed with paired pet names…(I’m still hanging onto Andy & Jean-Michel for my yet purchased bettas [no, you cannot steal that for your bettas]) and ok, I do admit that the pair would probably be pretty serious animals..but passionate! (if not sadly unrequited.)

I’m betting that Southern Challah French Toast with Oregon Peach Compote, Vanilla Kentucky Bourbon Butter and Real Maple Syrup would be a lot um…lighter and playful.

If she doesn’t do it I’ll have to get an animal so I can take the name for myself.

Anyway, when Niki gets here basically there’ll be a lot of cooking and baking (I’m going to try my hand at bread! And (reports reveal) Niki already makes an insanely great bagel!) and art-ing and hopefully a puppy I can use to stave off my longing for a dog because people, seriously, we all know I’m not adult enough for that action.

I don’t own a checkbook cover. I realized at the spa yesterday that I must appear pretty rad when I pull my crinkly papered checkbook from my bag, all incidental carbon creases everywhere and unsightly, rough tears because I am impatient when de-checking my checkbook.

Not even close to adult.

All this is to say that Belle & Sebastian is ideal cleaning music.

With tea.

Also, dahlias are my favorite flower currently, lavender is a much nicer color than I had previously thought, and breaking out my silk quilt was the best idea I’ve had in a long time.

Not as great as Southern Challah French Toast with Oregon Peach Compote, Vanilla Kentucky Bourbon Butter and Real Maple Syrup for a pet name, but I can only do so much, you guys.

Download: Belle & Sebastian - Get Me Away from Here I’m Dying, It Could Have Been a Brilliant Career, Electronic Renaissance
Buy the Album: Belle & Sebastian - If You’re Feeling Sinister, The Boy with the Arab Strab, Tigermilk

I Author My Own Disaster, Volume Two, Part Six

i can, seattle, wa; 20 september 2008

I don’t know where to begin confessing.

+beneath the shadow of a

below the shadow of a

Download: Elvis Costello - Distorted Angel (Tricky Remix),
Buy the Album: Elvis Costello - Distorted Angel

I Author My Own Disaster, Volume Two, Part Five

jewels 3, seattle, wa; 18 september 2008

It breaks my heart to know what I wrote

(here)

for you.

Download: Elliott Smith - Angel in the Snow, New Disaster
Buy the Album: Elliott Smith - New Moon

I Author My Own Disaster, Volume Two, Part Four

jewels 2, seattle, wa; 18 september 2008

I steal and steal and steal

details, grabbed quietly

gently;

I crouch down soft and put my face close

until my heart slows,

until things become clear.

Download: Mojave 3 - Love from Room 109 at the Islander / Shelleyan Orphan - Buzzin’ Fly
Buy the Album: Various Artists - Sing a Song for You: A Tribute to Tim Buckley

I Author My Own Disaster, Volume Two, Part Three

jewels, seattle, wa; 16 september 2008

No one seems to notice this about me, but it’s true:

I have eyes that see.

I watch closely.

Download: Broken Social Scene - Lover’s Spit
Buy the Album: Broken Social Scene - Bee Hives

I Author My Own Disaster, Volume Two, Part Two

(the certainty of a creased book cover), seattle, wa; 14 september 2008

In my dream I wore the mask of a deer,

you wore an orange vest;

my heart skittered and jumped like that of a rabbit’s,

you flew above in the sky, in figure eights, with birds of prey.

I crouched down in the grass, as still as I could, trying to become small

, like a mouse;

I didn’t see the direction from which you struck,

but you held me, paralyzed, as you wrapped your body around me

and black covered everything, like sumi ink saturating soft paper.

+I keep finding incidental bruises and cuts on my forearms, ankles, fingers, wrists,

chest.

What am I doing in my sleep?

Simple imagery, tea stain-colored at 5:30am,

the scent of lilies overwhelming as I felt for the safety of my limbs in the dark.

Download: Godspeed You Black Emperor - Moya / Piano Magic - I Came to Your Party Dressed as a Shadow / A Silver Mt. Zion - 13 Angels Standing Guard ‘Round the Side of Your Bed
Buy the Album: Godspeed You Black Emperor - Slow Riot for New Zero Kanada / Piano Magic - I Came to Your Party Dressed as a Shadow (EP) / A Silver Mt. Zion - He Has Left Us Alone, but Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corner of Our Rooms

Everyone’s So Lonely, I Dig It, Part Five

we all shine brighter than we see from this side, seattle, wa; 14 september 2008

I am folding up paper birds to string up and hang next to the window,

I’m crafting envelopes of vellum and tape; they have secret compartments for coins and other small things.

+i wear all my hearts on the outside, where everyone can see

++to be fair, sometimes they don’t realize what they are seeing; i don’t blame them for the accidental bruising

I am writing hopes on the soles of my feet in the morning to see if they carry me throughout the day.

Download: Smoking Popes - Star Struck One / Silver Jews - Trains Across the Sea / Dinosaur Jr. - Thumb / Pavement - We Dance / Cat Power - In This Hole / Elliott Smith - Clementine
Buy the Album: Smoking Popes - Destination Failure / Silver Jews - Starlite Walker / Dinosaur Jr. - Green Mind / Pavement - Wowee Zowee / Cat Power - What Would the Community Think? / Elliott Smith - Self-Titled

The Spaces Between the Things We Don’t Say, Part Two

the bravery of letters, seattle, wa; 13 september 2008

Remembering what it is like to hollow myself out,

Starting, finally, to settle into a stillness that is starting to color my skin.

Smiling more, breathing easier.

Being quieter, listening closer.

Download: Cocteau Twins - Pink Orange Red / Red House Painters - Mistress (Piano Version)
Buy the Album: Cocteau Twins - Twinlights / Red House Painters - Red House Painters (1)

I Author My Own Disaster, Volume Two, Part One

you and me (in sleep), seattle, wa; 09 september 2008

“…a body, lying still and unconscious, perhaps not listening to these sounds but somehow still connected to them.

What role does audio play in aiding sleep? What role does audio play while we are asleep?”

Download: Loscil - The Sleep Machine

I Author My Own Disaster, Part Ten

from minute to minute, seattle, wa; 7 september 2008

This.

Download: Yo La Tengo - Damage / Versus - Mirror Mirror, Frog / Seam - Sweet Pea / New Radiant Storm King - The Opposing Engineer (Sleeps Alone), Happy for the First Time in Weeks / Lois - Rougher / Sharks Keep Moving - Jet’s Jets
Buy the Album: Yo La Tengo - I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One / Versus - The Stars are Insane / Various Artists - Project: Echo (Holy fuckeroo, I can’t believe this is available ANYWHERE. Amazing.) / Seam - The Problem with Me / New Radiant Storm King - Rival Time / Lois - Infinity Plus / Sharks Keep Moving - Self-Tited

I Author My Own Disaster, Part Nine

summer’s ending (things are about to change), seattle, wa; 6 september 2008

I can feel it with the impending end of summer.

I am folding in on myself.

+like origami

+like bedsheets

+like envelopes containing secreted whispers

The rains are coming.

+there will be 3am lightning and thunderstorms, with trains in the distance

+hiding on imaginary porches, listening to a symphony of internal cicadas

+drawing on the floor of the basement while all kinds of racket goes on upstairs

Download: Unwound - Honourosis / Red Stars Theory - Thick with the Paint, Swaying / Boys Life - Sleeping Off Summer / Hayden - Nights Like These
Buy the Album: Unwound - Fake Train / Red Stars Theory - But Sleep Came Slowly / Boys Life - Departures and Landfalls / Hayden - The Closer I Get