connexion: the selector

No Name Series, vUnknown Part Unknown

we all know, san francisco, ca; 08 april 2008

Show me your favorite constellations.

Download: Beck - Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime
Buy the Album: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Soundtrack

No Name Series, vUnknown Part Unknown

fu-co ueda (many instances); (still) date unknown

Today was infinitely great despite many obstacles.

+ (this makes me know i am still in my skin.)

I spent a lot of time in the sun, walking around my neighborhood listening to Jane’s Addiction.

I have so many…everything…associated with Jane’s. They are one of the greatest bands of all time, and I can’t listen to them without at some point having to just stay still and just listen.

So I’m sharing my favorite song from each of their albums. I cannot tell you how much agony there was in choosing just one from each, so I’ll probably indulge myself at a later date with a part 2 of this post.

At the market this afternoon, while listening to “Three Days” at the highest volume, I ran my cart into someone because my eyes rolled up into my head and I couldn’t pay attention to my surroundings at about the 8:50 mark.

He didn’t seem to mind–I just pointed to my headphones, shrugged my shoulders and grinned. Maybe he heard what I was listening to, these aren’t noise reducing headphones at all.

Also, “Ted, Just Admit It…”, holy God. When I first heard it, all of 14 years old and only just realizing what it was to be a girl…holy Holy, it was like super novas exploded in my brain every time I heard it.

I would spend hours in bed listening, half way out the window, having the sun intrude and turn my pupils to pinpoints through the leaves and wind chimes,

it made me feel like my skin was going to unravel and fall off (you know, in that really great way).

And when I first really fell in love “I Would For You” played on my stereo for days, in private.

There’s some weird phenomenon where the music you listened to intently when you turned into the person you were going to be feels like it’s new no matter when you listen to it.

I love them so much.

+ (all now with wings)

Download: Jane’s Addiction - Ted, Just Admit It…, Three Days, I Would For You
Buy the Album: Jane’s Addiction - Nothing’s Shocking, Ritual De Lo Habitual, Self-Titled

No Name Series, vUnknown Part Unknown

fu-co ueda; date unknown

The thing is, I had such a phenomenal day until that moment.

I mean, for the first time in literally all recent (and even not so recent) memory, a really great day.

That’s the problem with letting someone close to you–everything they do and say and don’t do and don’t say matters.

It’s fucked.

Probably the worst part is (for me at least), it’s almost impossible to be both:

- completely open to someone

and

- in control in such a way that my first reaction, if it’s not…shit, I don’t know, if it’s just not

that I am able to control it.

I just haven’t been able to figure it out.

So, ok, my failing.

But it still means either you let me just try my best, and sometimes fail,

(and always try to be better)

and you be disappointed.

And you know, even if you’re generous enough not to be: I am disappointed.

OR

You accept the arm’s (or two) length I hold you at.

Because I’m just not fuckin’ adept enough to figure the rest out.

Not now, at least.

So there it is.

It’s fucked.

And I really hate it. And, frankly, it’s fucking exhausting.

Anyway. It was almost a really great day.

In other news, one of my favorite things is catching someone singing while they’re driving.

Especially if they catch me singing at the same time.

Download: Primal Scream - Damaged
Buy the Album: Primal Scream - Screamadelica

No Name Series, vUnknown Part Unknown

we can again and again; date unknown

The first time I tried to read Crash I became so nauseated that I had to set the book down and walk away.

A couple of years, and a few eye-opening,

heart-pounding

experiences later,

I picked it up again and devoured it in a single day.

And then I read it again.

And then I read it a third time.

(in the same couple days)

I am so enamored I am terrified to see the movie,

lest I be disappointed,

even though James Spader (*one of my favorite Sex Creeps*)

and Elias Koteas (*an even favorite-r Sex Creep*).

That’s how hard my sternum cracked,

that first time I came back.

I think I can say with certainty: it was formative.

Download: The Normal - Warm Leatherette
Buy the Album: The Normal - T.V.O.D./Warm Leatherette

Submerged Series, vThree, Part Three

mr bunnycat rests in the crates, san francisco, ca; 08 april 2008

About halfway through the day my head unhooked from my body and flew off into outer space.

I’m pretty sure no one noticed.

I mean, they did, but they didn’t really understand what was going on.

It was one of those (many) times I am thankful for the chest-crushing individual, solitary nature of human consciousness.

That is to say, I am so thankful for the fact that no one could read my mind.

In other news: I’m gonna run out of smokes, but have no interest in going to the Kwik-e-Mart.

Maybe I’ll quit.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Download: Unrest - Breather X.O.X.O.
Buy the Album: Unrest - Perfect Teeth

No Name Series, vUnknown Part Unknown

maybe it’s because i am too paralyzed to say exactly what.; yeah, ok. date whenever.

I do know soft skin,

and sky blue soft sheets

(even if to feel them right I need to pull them around my face to suffocating)

+not always and forever,

you just have to approach me the right way,

++or better, if i make the step towards you,

you just have to hold your palms up,

(you know,

so i can see)

and I know creating a gentle landing,

and I’ll hope for weeks on end;

because I have a really refined appreciation for bravery,

even on a tiny level.

The smallest level.

So, you know.

So that’s something.

Download: Archers of Loaf - Greatest of All Time
Buy the Album: Archers of Loaf - Vee Vee