connexion: the selector

Sometimes, anticipating the kiss is almost better than the actual kiss.

Almost.

Download: Ciara - Next to You
Buy the Album: Ciara - Goodies

Heaven, I need to give this man a hug. And, uh, stuff.

As I mentioned last night, I am in some sort of full on R&B immersion this week. I have been breaking out and ripping all my favorites and finding new ones and it’s been really hott.

Probably the hottest O.A.T. for me, though, is D’Angelo. I mean, for Christ’s sake, I used D’Angelo to kick off Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By Week back in March. His voice makes me instantly want to get down and make it happen. Even if I’m alone, because Lord knows that I’m never really alone when I am listening to D’Angelo–my imagination is just too awesome for that. Me and D’Angelo in my bed, freshly laundered sheets, apricot baby oil and lots of time. Me and D’Angelo driving around the city at 3am, with wandering hands. Me and D’Angelo in the back of a club, in a movie theatre, in a church parking lot, with God. Whatever.

I really can’t say more about D’Angelo, or my love for D’Angelo, or how I wish he would love me down forever. Mostly, I am making this post just so I could post the picture above, because it makes me wet my panties*.

*Not in an R. Kelly way.

Download: D’Angelo - Greatdayndamornin/Booty, One Mo’gin, Jonz in My Bonz / Lauryn Hill & D’Angelo - Nothing Even Matters (This is one excellent, hot song. A Make Out Song, for serious. Get with you baby, slip this on and then make with the soul kisses until the insides of your mouthes are raw.)
Buy the Album: Pretty much anything you could want from D’Angelo, music-wise / Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

Because Sara NH is staying with me this week, we are making a joint post under my name.

Words in italics by Sara

Words in ordinary type by Andrew

We’re having a really good time, I think. Or I’m having a good time, anyway. And Sara is having a good enough time that I was able to con her into staying with me five more days. Also: if they sold owls at the supermarket, oh my God, I would have so many owls. I would buy a new owl almost every day. Certainly I would have two owls, one called Mop and one called Clover.

Oh hush, Andrew. I am certainly having a wonderful time. Hanging out with Andrew this week has truly been aces. We heard this Ides of March song in the car today and I was all over it like a slut.

This Kawabata and Richard Youngs song is really beautiful. I only got it today, so I can’t claim to have much experience with it, but all the same, thirty seconds into “Blue,” I knew what I was posting today.

Similarly, when I thought about hanging little girls’ heads on my wall, I knew what I was posting today.

Yeah, remember when we skullfucked those chicklets and decpaitated them? And then we stuck their heads on posts at the end of the driveway? Good times, mang, good times.

Shit, man, good times. “Hey, put…” “Naw, it’s no good without the voice.” See, now we’re arguing about what to post. Bickering, even, like old people. Andrew is like my cranky old husband now. We even went to the supermarket twice today. Wait… make that crazy, cranky old husband, because he just said some insensible shit about monkeys. Damn your baby animals fetish, Andrew

But it’s so hot!

Hi, I’m R. Kelly and I’m totally crazy.

Heaven, this thug needs a hug.

I have been without cable for a good month or two now. For the most part, I haven’t missed it at all, though I have to admit that not being able to catch Queer Eye, West Wing and Arrested Development does kinda suck.

But, really, I have been doing ok until this morning when E reported to me that R. Kelly had a full on crazy-maker meltdown last night during his performance on the VMAs. Now, I am not usually one for spectacle. I am don’t watch reality shows that force people to act like complete assholes, I don’t watch Crossfire or any of that nonsense, and I avoid all pictures of and films including Michael Douglas (whose face makes me physically angry). I try to keep my life relatively smooth.

But GOD DAMN IT MOTHERFUCKER, I WISH I HAD SEEN THAT SHIT. From what I understand, jaws were dropped, hats were thrown to the ground in astonishment, there was question whether life was worth living after witnessing such a mess.

Now that’s the kind of sickness I can get behind. E says the only thing that could have made it more insane would be if Michael Jackson came on stage. Could you imagine that? What if they kissed like he and Lisa Marie did that time? That would be the end all moment in VMA history. Too bad R. Kelly’s a grown man, MJ probably isn’t interested.

So, in celebration of his being a complete freakshow, I am posting what is probably one of my favorite R. Kelly songs, “Heaven I Need a Hug”. The fact that he released this while he was facing charges for the pee pee video makes it even more special. I get a nice warm feeling in my heart every time I hear this, kind of like peeing in a pool…not that I’ve done that of course, and definitely not in the country club pool when I was 8 and I definitely didn’t blame it on my friend who was next to me, but I digress. I hope you get that warm feeling too.

Also, be aware I am in the middle of what seems to be a complete R&B immersion for the last few days, so that’s probably all I’ll be posting for the next couple of whatevers.

EDIT: Kyle hooked me up with the link above, so now I feel like, well. I feel totally insane after watching that stuff, but man. Not R. Kelly insane.

Really close, though.

Download: R. Kelly - Heaven, I Need a Hug / Dave Chappelle - (I Wanna) Pee on You, The Remix
Buy the Album: R. Kelly - Chocolate Factory (+ Limited Bonus CD)

Seattle Series, Part Two

Tonight when I was at the gas station I had a cosmic experience:

I was finished pumping and about to get into my car when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a little ball of awesomeosity flipping and flailing her arms about.

I turned to around and looked at what was probably the cutest 7 yr old girl in existence WORKING HER SHIT OUT! to “Lose Control” by Missy Elliott, which was bumping out of my car.

You guys, this girl fucking rocked that shit, with an Abba Zabba in her mouth and a dolly gripped in one hand. This little thing had moves that would put fear into those people in Rize. She would fucking run the lil’ mama match, No Shit.

I wish I had my wits about me so that I could snap a camphone pic of her, but she seriously freaked me out, in the best way. She was a dancing angel from the planet Get Down.

Then, the spell broke and she got all self-conscious and ran into her mom’s car and slid down in the seat so I couldn’t see her anymore, but she popped the little dolly up to watch me drive away.

Thankfully, there is the internets and Google Image Search, where I found the below pic, which actually looks a shitton like her, just imagine an Abba Zabba in her mouth and a dolly in her outstretched hand, and you’re almost there.

Little girl, you fucking own it, and this song is dedicated to you, because you Run This Shit.

Download: Missy Elliott - We Run This
Buy the Album: Missy Elliott - The Cookbook

This was supposed to be posted about two weeks ago, while I was still high on my completely awesome Saturday. In summary, I was visiting Sweden over the weekend and managed to squeeze a bunch of great events into one single day:
• Hanging out with my best friend before he had to go to work.
• Finding a nice pair of jeans for $13.
• Hanging out with another very good friend of mine, having really good coffee.
• Going to a dinosaur exhibition together with my father and mother.
Underlining the good times was a DJ spinning Michael Mayer’s Speaker in the store where I bought my jeans.

While checking if Kompakt still had Speaker in stock, I was reminded of Tina/Argo by Thomas Brinkmann. This 12″ is great on its own, but what makes the release totally awesome is the free bonus CD, Tanks A Lot. It’s a total all killer no filler dance mayhem and might be my very favourite Brinkmann CD.

Ok, guys, summer is almost over.

And Pub have a new CD just in time for autumn.

But let’s listen to the first track we ever heard by them, way back in 2000. Basic Channel meets Boards of Canada? Plaid on acid?

Seattle Series, Part One

I can feel this city breathing in the middle of the night and sometimes

it whispers in my ear, yes.

Download: Encre - Hassan, Galantes
Buy the Album: Encre - Flux

Songs for Shakin’ that Ass (and For Shopping)

Shelltoes! In pink! Oh God!

Oh God, it’s a dance party up in this bitch tonight! I am like Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo and shit, with cardboard on the ground and everything.

Ok, not really but what if I was?? That would be so sweet.

No, f’real tho, I am dancing like whoah, with sweat and everything. It’s pretty great when you can enjoy shit so much that you can’t help but dance, even if it’s just alone in your apt.

Also, Adidas is having a sale on like 4 different pairs of kicks I want, I am in so much trouble.

Oh and the accessories!

Dancing, shopping, shopping, dancing.

A girl’s life is fucking awesome.

Download: Expression Direkt - Mon Esprit Par en Couilles / Missy Elliott - Lose Control, Gossip Folks Ft Ludacris / DJ Assault - Ass N Titties / Prince - Housequake
Buy the Album: La Haine Soundtrack / Missy Elliott - The Cookbook, Under Construction / DJ Assault - Ass N Titties 12″ / Prince - Sign ‘O’ The Times

Song for Frustrating Times

(I can’t remember from whom or when this photo came to me, but thank you. Also, if you are the photographer, I apologize for not being able to give you credit.)

Be easy, you are my brother.

Download: Timmy Thomas - Why Can’t We Live Together?
Buy the Album: Timmy Thomas - Why Can’t We Live Together?

Songs for Best Days

I love you, Alton Ellis.

Today was another ecstatic sunny day, and I smiled at everyone, and they smiled back.

I felt like they could see inside me, and I was unafraid. It’s the first time I’ve felt like that in a long long time. I am unravelling in a beautiful way, a sincere way.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on the fact that I am so happy now when I am alone, but feel open to letting other people in.

I can let other people in.

Download: Alton Ellis - I’ll Be Waiting, You Made Me So Very Happy
Buy the Album: Alton Ellis - Alton & Hortense Ellis, Cry Tough

I celebrate the life of the late Robert Moog by uploading a track from the sadly forgotten Moog supergroup Mother Mallard’s Portable Masterpiece Co.

Before Tangerine Dream, Klaus Schulze, Vangelis, Mike Oldfield, ELP, and on and on, there was Mother Mallard, the first all-synthesizer band. They worked closely with Moog, whose factory was near where the band members lived and who contributed all of his latest equipment to the act. They can easily be considered Moog’s “house act”�making beautiful electronic music at the same time as the earliest synth innovators.

Their sound is a trailblazing mix of space-electronics and Terry Riley Rainbow in Curved Air-style minimalism. Criminally forgotten for years until the venerable Cuneiform re-released their two albums on CD back in 1999, Mother Mallard is a uniquely American musical treasure.

Bless you, Bob Moog, and rest in peace.

Back-2-Skool Tribute

I start school tomorrow-
no butterflies in my stomach.

A fantastic sun-shiny Seattle day
+
sitting in the cafe eating the most kick ass tempeh reuben sandwich ever
+
reading hand-made comic interpretations of The Raven
+
writing letters on xeroxed menus
+
listening to pop songs on headphones
+
everything was bright
+
I was just so happy.

Download: +/- - The Queen of Detroit
Buy the Album: +/- - Self-Titled Long Playing Debut

Lotus Series, Part Seven

Today I hid in the elevator and took big gulps of air to collect myself, still wrapped up in my head. I was still in bed, smiling because we had spent some time.

I woke up and the whole world was streaming through my blinds.

I was cloudy, it was like everything I thought of while I was sleeping was still caught up in my hair.

And if you think I don’t dream about you, you’re simple and crazy, baby.

Download: Tom Waits - Innocent When You Dream (78)
Buy the Album: Tom Waits - Beautiful Maladies

Lotus Series, Part Six

I am becoming how I long to be.

Download: Innocence Mission - Look for Me as You Go By
Buy the Album: Innocence Mission - Befriended

Aside from being one of the all-time ambient classics, Steve Roach’s 1988 album Dreamtime Return is also his best-known work. Inspired by Roach’s wide travels on the Australian continent, Dreamtime manages to sound ancient and modern all at once, with a seamless blend of Aboriginal instruments and “western” electronics.

For me, Dreamtime Return was especially important and influential. It was not only my first exposure to Steve Roach and new ambient, but also to the Berlin School style of sequencing (listen to “Towards the Dream” for an example of this style, best known as the sound of Tangerine Dream). Roach’s contribution to the Berlin School cannot be overestimated. He was the first to add traditional percussive forms to the sound, freshening a somewhat stagnant genre.

But, most importantly, aside from all this hoity-toity “classic” nah-nah-nah writing, even after 17 years, Dreamtime Return is still a fascinating, refreshing listen. It doesn’t sound at all dated, and the opening track, “Towards the Dream,” (which I have included here along with a more ambient track indicative of the rest of the double album) still gives me chills every time I hear it. So, without further ado, I present Steve Roach’s best work. This is culled from the brand new 2005 remaster, just out on Projekt records. (No, I do not know why he’s on a darkwave label.)

Lotus Series, Part Five

Lotus amongst Reeds by Bo Yun

Still healing from a fracture, I am in a soft place.

I want everything to slow down, like honey into a bowl of tea.

I want everything to slow down, like watercolor.

Download: Rachel’s - 4 or 5 Trees
Buy the Album: Rachel’s - Systems/Layers

Lotus Series, Part Four

Take off your shoes, you are desecrating the sacred ground.

Download: Donovan - Catch the Wind
Buy the Album: Donovan - Catch the Wind

Lotus Series, Part Three

I am working on compassion.

Download: AGF - downBYtheLAKE
Buy the Album: From AGF’s site: for AUDIOLAB. soundinstallation in commission for POMPIDOU PARIS. encounter with a man late in the evening. at the lake close to my parents place.

Because I appreciate that Mister Eden is not the type of nut to feverishly seek out each and every compilation track, I told him I would post this Alio Die track from the comp Funeral Songs, on Relapse, that he hadn’t heard. The abum is pretty good overall, a decent sampling of dark ambient, and no B, not all of it would spook you. It’s not like… Abruptum.

I will admit to listening to this for the first time and having some goth moments. “Ooh funeral dirge! Ooh creepy chanting!” Ok, now that I’ve embarassed myself…

I threw in another choice track from the comp for good measure. Enjoy.

I am posting this track because Sara NH was looking for more dark ambient picks. I secretly believe (now publicly) that her kind of dark ambient is way too spooky for my Candyland life, but I will attempt to surmount this fear.

So I present a track by Viridian Sun, a collaboration between M. Griffin and David Tollefson who each make good ambient music on their own. It is on the Hypnos label, long one of my favorites (though recent releases have fallen them out of favor with me, if I may turn a phrase). Hypnos gets a lot of press as a kind of quasi-new-age label, which I don’t understand, unless you find VidnaObmana or Robert Rich to be new age. If you do, please stop reading, because you’re beyond help, honestly.

The music of Viridian Sun is quiet and vast sounding to me, rather like the cosmos might sound if Thomas K�ner stopped looking at glaciers and bought a telescope. The track I have selected, the second track from their first album Solar Noise, is darker by some when compared to other tracks on the CD. It’s a diverse and intriguing work in total, with a mixture of synths and heavily treated guitar.

It reminds me of the sound of 2001’s monoliths, kind of creepy and kind of transcendent. I do hope you enjoy it.

Wooden Wand is one of my favorite collections of people making music today. Their semi-improvisational aspect means I have never seem them play the same show twice, which is refreshing. Their sets and music stay diverse and fresh, while maintaining the haunted nostalgia that their unique amalgamation of experimental electronic and dark folk/psych elicts with me. They are a fission point where two of my favorite genres meet.

Lotus Series, Part Two

Vishnu sleeps on the cosmic serpent

the cosmic serpent floats on the the cosmic sea

and Vishnu, in that sleep, dreams the dream that is This Universe

from His navel, the lotus of This Universe

on the lotus, sits Brahma

and everytime Brahma opens His eyes a world age comes into being

He opens his eyes, He closes His eyes

He opens His eyes
–Paraphrased from Joseph Campbell

Download: 1 Giant Leap - The Way You Dream
Buy the Album: 1 Giant Leap

Lotus Series, Part One

I didn’t talk to anyone today, out loud.

And the heat made me take a mid-evening bath in cool water.

I thought of the almond skinned boy sitting cross-legged, handing me a paper lotus and incense from Thailand.

I imagined taking the lantern girl to a still pond to count dragon flies.

I listened to myths and laid down on crisp white cotton.

I planned wind chimes made of broken colored glass, to send far away.

Download: Colleen - Everything Lay Still / Murcof - Muim (Colleen Remix)
Buy the Album: Colleen - Golden Morning Breaks / Murcof - Utopia Remixes

i. you were a hotel room; a shell to be inhabited briefly and soon forgotten.
ii. nowhere was the hotel’s former opulence more evident than in the ballroom, which also fell into the most abject state of decay and abandonment.

This isn’t a song so much as an entire mix CD I made as a Xmas present for friends in 2000. I had made gift mixes for a several years, but this was the first time I let the mix be exactly the way it wanted to assemble itself, without consideration for whether other people would like it. I had just finished reading The Amber Spyglass, the end of Philip Pullman’s incomparable trilogy, and was still in a daze from it and from discovering music that seemed to match it in mood, most strongly Sigur Rós and Tarentel. And so I put this together, an 80-minute dream.

“Lyra felt something strange happen to her body. She felt as if she had been handed the key to a great house she hadn’t known was there, a house that was somehow inside her, and as she turned the key, she felt other doors opening in the darkness, and lights coming on. She sat trembling … And inside her, that rich house with all its doors open and all its rooms lit stood waiting, quiet, expectant.”

Godspeed You Black Emperor! “Moya” (pt 1)
Sigur Ros “Staralfur”
Fascia “Ringhollow”
Transient Waves “Always Ascending”
Rachel’s “An Evening Of Long Goodbyes”
Laika “A Single Word”
Mogwai “Rage : Man”
Radiohead “In Limbo”
Bowery Electric “Lushlife”
Sigur Ros “Svefn-G-Englar”
Tarentel “Looking For Things”

“God did not create the angels. He found them already existing and enslaved them.”

Songs for a Secret, Imaginary Post-Card

I have written letters that got mashed up in between magazines and advertisements. I wrote your name very slowly. Sometimes the ink feathers into the pores of the rice paper, like skin.

Today at work I talked to a girl who wears braces. I watched her lips move while she spoke and

noticed the raw parts where the metal has cut into the smoothness, red like a plum and

I wanted to take pictures of her lips, secretly, like a spy

to send to you.

Most of the time when I think about you

I imagine taking you to the park by my house, so we can sit in the grass by the reservoir and stare into the sun.

Or I imagine taking you into the greenhouse to show you my favorite corners, with the summer heat around us, letting you write the names of your favorite orchids on the inside of my arm with my best sakura pen, the ink feathering into my pores, like rice paper.

Most of the time when I think about you, I imagine sitting next to you, staring at your hands.

Maybe putting our palms together, just to see.

Download: Everything But The Girl - Corcovado / Maxwell - Seguran�a / Cazuza & Bebel Gilberto - Preciso Dizer Que Te Amo
Buy the Album: Various Artists - Red Hot & Rio

Songs for Andrew, pt. 2

Pour toi, et pour Paris dans la nuit.

Tonight I was going through all the songs I had gotten together for Best-Worst Week and I realized in a not-really panic that it was in fact Friday and that this was my last chance to inflict triumphant-awful on you.

I was relieved, frankly, since clearly I have spent way more time on this week’s posts than I have spent on the last few months worth of posts put together. I am far too lazy for this kind of exertion, people.

So it is with a teary eye that I give you my final offerings for Best-Worst Week, this time, mercifully, without pics!

Best-Worst:

1) “Warm Leatherette” by Normal–I have so many terrible associations with this song, bad people, bad times. But listening to this tonight, I was reminded that it is inspired by one of my favorite books and I have finally been able to enjoy it without feeling like crap.

2) “New Moon on Monday” by Duran Duran–Oh sweet nectar, I love this song so much. It is my very favorite Duran Duran song. Oh Simon Le Bon, you were my first ever crush and I would still totally make it happen with you, given the chance.

3) “Do They Know it’s Christmas” by Band Aid–You know, I haven’t heard the new version of this and I really really don’t want to. This is probably one of my top five songs from the 80’s, and I am old enough to be able to remember all of it, especially the music. I’d just like to mention some of the people who were involved in this project to highlight its awesomeosity, particularly VS my last, and worst, song offering:

� Bob Geldof
� Culture Club
� David Bowie
� Duran Duran
� Eurythmics
� Frankie Goes to Hollywood
� Heaven 17
� Human League
� Kool and the Gang
� Midge Urge
� Paul McCartney
� Paul Young
� Spandau Ballet
� Status Quo
� The Style Council
� Wham!

Wham! you guys! And David Bowie! And Duran Duran! And Heaven 17! And Culture Club for Christ’s sake!

Crap, looking at that list I almost wish that Best-Worst Week was lasting a little longer. I could surely have posted some “Penthouse and Pavement” or “I’m Your Man” up in this bitch.

Oh, there’s so much horrific/awesome music I could have shared.

But all good things must come to an end they say, and so with a shudder of pain I give you my

Worst-Worst:

“We Are The World” by USA for Africa. I hate this song so much. God god, so fucking much. I am not even writing about it. I just, hate it.

Oh God, I’ll be so glad to be back to normal posting around here.

Oh yeah, I was going to do this mega Best Madonna VS Worst Madonna post, but really, who needs that action?

Download: Excellent!: The Normal - Warm Leatherette, Duran Duran - New Moon on Monday, Band Aid - Do They Know It’s Christmas / Terrible!: USA for Africa - We Are the World
Buy the Album: Normal - T.V.O.D./Warm Leatherette Single :: Duran Duran - Seven and the Ragged Tiger :: I guess you have to get the new version of Do They Know It’s Christmas too. Boo! / I hate this crap, but we here at The Selector support charities and junk and I guess if you really want to hear Dan Aykroyd on cd this would be the way to do it. Oh wait, I guess you could listen to the Blues Brothers. Oh god, of course I would have to end this week with barf in my mouth.

Back in 2000 my friend and fellow Selector Kyle and I challenged each other to make the most awesome mix of bestworst music we could. We had a set length of time to create our masterpieces of crap in secret, to be revealed to and then judged by our friends in a great listening sesh of pain.

The winner would rest easy in the knowledge that they have the bestworst taste in bestworst music.

I won with this little mix em up (please note, this was presented on an actual cassette tape):

“More than a Feeling” Boston
“Making Love Out of Nothing at All” Air Supply*
“I’m Alright” Kenny Loggins
“Cry” Godley & Cream*
“Pink Houses” John Cougar
“Anyway You Want It” Journey*
“Working for the Weekend” Loverboy
“Go Your Own Way” Fleetwood Mac*
“Xanadu” Olivia Newton-John*
“Come Sail Away” Styx
“Dust in the Wind” Kansas*

“Just What I Needed” The Cars
“My Life” Billy Joel*
“What a Fool Believes” The Doobie Brothers*
“Africa” Toto*
“I Wear My Sunglasses” Corey Hart*
“I Want You to Want Me” Cheap Trick
“I Wanna Kiss You All Over” Exile*
“The Model” Kraftwerk
“Do They Know it’s Christmas?” Band Aid
“Never Gonna Give You Up” Rick Astley*
“Daydream Believer” The Monkees (OMG, if I had rocked the Anne Murray version that would have been so much more worst bestworst)
“Tri-Lamb Rap” Revenge of the Nerds
“We are the Champions” Queen

It should further be noted that we both put “Making Love Out of Nothing at All”, and “Working for the Weekend”.

I think I won with the nerd rap and Xanadu. I don’t know.

Also, no one would diss “Africa” or “I Want You to Want Me”.

Those songs own it.

Now, five years later I can totally admit that Kyle should have won, if only for the fact that he put “Puttin’ on the Ritz” by Taco on his mix. Terrible!

I think Kyle might still hate me for putting “Never Gonna Give You Up” on mine.

*Indicates a song that was considered, but passed up for Best Worst Week. I’ll leave it to you to guess if they would have been Best Worst or Worst Worst.

Things I Hate Most in the World
-Furries, people who write pornographic Harry Potter fanfic, and the like.
-People blathering on about some banal shit because they want to hear themselves talk.
-That busted, fake, no talent slut we call Madonna.
-People spelling my name wrong, or saying my last name wrong and then telling me “it figures” for having a French name.
-Badly done photography with really trite and boring subject matter, usually by “indie kids” but sometimes by people who call themselves professionals.
-Being in constant pain.
-THIS FUCKING JEFFERSON STARSHIP SONG (and, coincidentally, anyone who’s ever had the balls, audacity, or bad taste enough to sing it to me, like they’re the first to ever do so - I am so serious, I have stopped talking to people for this in the past).

Thank you, Hall & Oates, for writing a Sara song that is both spelled the good way and not one of the most overwhemingly sappy/faggy things ever written ever. You’re all “Sara baby, just be happy,” and it’s okay. Thank you.
Every time is a good time for saying goodbye to Jefferson Starship.

Oh Kylie, sweet bitch,
Queen of the fag-hags, you are
SO best/fabulous.

Paula Cole, horseface,
Screw you and Dawson’s Creek, too.
This shit is SO worst.

I don’t do theme weeks. I dance.

Both of these are absolutely of the bad-bad song variety but they aren’t guilty pleasures either, I like them because they’re bad. Like a 19th century Colonial anthropologist I have slowly been amassing a substantial Lite FM collection and “Smoke From a Distant Fire,” was a treasure I had wet anthropologist dreams about, dreams cloaked in harvest gold and that funny pea-green color that they painted ovens back in those days and when I finally found this song it was like I stuffed my hands up to the elbow in the mud of the euphrates and pulled out a breast-shaped ruby the size of my fist that I stuffed into my underwear and ran off with beneath a warm shower of heavy shells from a primitive army equipped with ancient rifles by some meddling fool deserter just back from India and I spent the rest of the day eating peeled grapes and lumps of Opium being fed various exotic fruits by naked children and hired hands who tickled my nipples and referred to me as an “Occidental God,” like I wasn’t much more than the spray of some Aristocrat’s wet dream, now that I have mentioned wet dreams two or three times in this post, and what the hell, who doesn’t have them and more importantly, who doesn’t like them. Plus, the writers of Every Young Man’s Battle mention them and the Sanford Townsend Band too(”I was soon awash in pornography, I actually memorized the date when my favorite soft-core magazine arrived at the local drugstore. I’d be standing at the front door at opening time, even if I had to skip class to do it. I loved the girls next door section…which featured pictures of nude girls taken by their boyfriends” etc, personally I just like to hide and do it to myself with my eyes all a mist from the smoke of a distant fire while a significant other is doing something like making biscuits, jesus christ do biscuits ever turn me on I can’ t help but think, oh jesus jesus jesus GOD what a warm lump of ass, or while they’re in the shower or best yet brushing teeth but that is THIS young man’s battle and that shit don’t belong here), and you know you can’t go wrong with those folks. As to Shakedown I remember that it came out at the same time as “Kokomo” came out and back in fifth grade we had one of these really luxurious new buses that was the advantage of living in the lap of Las Vegan luxury, we had buses with plether seats and tinted windows and radios and I remember all the kids on the bus and the busdriver too singing along to Kokomo and Shakedown, because we all dreamed of being cops in white sport jackets with stubble out in the islands, romancing the ladies with these crazy island fruity drinks. And check out that gospel choir! Good times, dude. Good times.

So Best and So Worst Movie Songs

VS

Also known as

VS

For anyone who’s read my journ for any length of time, it’s no secret that I think that Revenge of the Nerds is one of the Greatest Movies of All Time. I think I have watched that movie like, oh I don’t know, maybe 12,385 times. No kidding, I really have.

My parents taped it for me off of HBO when I was 8 or 9 and I can remember one summer where I watched it daily. Sometimes more than once daily. It is a fantastic story of the underdog becoming top dog (HA HA OH GOD ‘TOP DOG’, I REALLY AM RAD!!), and not only does it end with the truly triumphant “We Are the Champions” by Queen, while a whole crowd of people are chanting “NERDS! NERDS! NERDS!” it includes one of the best movie moments of all time, the Lambda Lambda Lambda Rap.

Seriously, people, have you ever seen anything in a movie that is more completely radical than the Tri-Lamb Rap? I defy you to give me a more triumphant, completely sweet and awesome movie moment. Ok, first of all, and most obviously, it includes the Tri-Lambs themselves. Oh yes, that rag tag group held together by Lewis (Robert Carradine, who went on to do…other Revenge of the Nerds movies), Gilbert (a totally cute, pre-balding, pre-ER Anthony Edwards), Booger (OH MY GOD, CURTIS ARMSTRONG, CHAMPION OF AMERICA!!! No, seriously, go there. Spend some time. Play Booger’s Panty Raid and even buy “Boogeresque Clothing“! I know, God! The Internets are a truly mysterious and wonderous place.), Lamar Latrelle (”Latrelle, Lamar?” “Lamar Latrell!” given full justice here in the article “Lamar Latrelle, The Total God of You”. I really couldn’t have said it any better than this, thank you Internets!!), Wormser, Pointdexter (a totally pre-West Wing Timothy Busfield) and Takashi (How can you ever get tired of that ass, Takashi?). Second of all, it’s nerds rapping. I mean before the advent of Nerd Rap, which I learned about today via Google while looking for the Tri-Lamb Rap to share with you all. Seriously, these are probably the best nerds ever caught on film. I have to say that right now I am getting shivers just thinking about them. I love you, Lambda Lambda Lambda!! I love you because I know that you love me back!!

Now, in comparison, we have Top Gun, which I think I saw once when it came out because, that’s just what you did back then. This is a movie about some fighter pilot guy I think and Kelly McGillis (I know, who?) having sex gently while the wind blew in through the gauzy drapes, while the truly horrid “Take My Breath Away” played. There was also some completely blatant homo-tension between Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer, but really, how can you blame them, they just got done doing fighter jet things and taking a steamy post shoot out shower where they got to look at each other’s peeners and also butts and then they were in towels and how else are you going to expect them to react? That’s right, by getting in each other’s faces and also challenging each other to a totally manly match of volleyball.

It’s my understanding that the director’s cut includes an intense shower scene where Tom Cruise Finds himself completely heels to heaven while Val Kilmer punches his kittyhole, the wind blowing gently through the shower steam, and that dood who was also in “Roxanne” (with Steve Martin) beats it with feeling in the corner while some really masculine song by Kenny Logins (emphasis mine) plays.

That’s just my understanding, though.

Goose, thankfully, is not in that part of the director’s cut. Yes, shamefully I have to admit that Gilbert, I mean Anthony Edwards, was in both movies. But look, which is more triumphant?

VS

I don’t know, but my panties, and this time, yes, my heart, tells me it’s no contest.

TRIUMPHANT!!

Download: So Best!!! : Lambda Lambda Lambda Rap (Mp3) / Lambda Lambda Lambda Rap (.Mov) / Queen - We Are The Champions / Barforama: Berlin - Take My Breath Away
Buy the Album: Sadly, there is nowhere to get the Tri-Lamb Rap on an album. I literally looked forEVER find it for you today. Life’s Fair because…You can find the Top Gun Soundtrack fucking ANYWHERE.

VS.
WHO WOULD YOU RATHER BE SEXED UP BY?

Yeah, exactly. So sorry, Color Me Badd, but even being blunt isn’t working for you. Neither are those whack hairstyles. You are SO WORST and also so unfuckable. No, You cannot sex me up. In fact, this song AND the activity it suggests are both so vile, I can’t think of it any longer, lest I vomit. However…

Oh, Chris Isaak, paramour of my dreams, how long have I wanted you? I don’t often tell people this, because people tend to make fun of me for it, but I so don’t care anymore. That voice, oh my god, that voice. Each whispered phrase is like a kiss on the nape of the neck that sends shivers southward. You are so best. I picked this version of the song, because it’s more like you are in my room with your guitar, sitting next to me, looking at me softly, and singing into my eyes. Oh yes, Chris Isaak, you are the hands-down clear winner here.

THE GREAT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE VS BRITNEY SPEARS VIRTUAL DANCE-OFF, JUST LIKE I READ ABOUT ON THE INTERNETS!!

Oh god people, I had seriously planned a different post for tonight, in fact, I told people on the internet to get ready for my MEGApost.

But then I was having extra-hott headphone dance off times in my bedroom and I was seriously rockin’ ass to “Senorita”, and also talking to my girl Bird Ballet and I was agonizing over my mega post and looking for pics and then “Like I Love You” came on and I realized, WTF?

How did it not occur to me that my ultimate so best/worst scenario would be between Justin Timberlake vs Britney Spears? I mean, they both came from the Mickey Mouse Club, and they even DATED. Once this hit me, it was fucking on.

Sara already posted the best Britney song (though, I have to say I’m partial to the original), so that means it’s downhill from here for Titney. Sorry dood!

Tonight I am going to do a little switch up and post the So Worst first, because hell, it’s my prerogative. HA HA HA I AM RAD.

Britney Spears:

Ok, so, first of all, let me just say that in all fairness, I don’t have a whole hell of a lot of experience with Britney other than the videos for Toxic and Me Against the Music because that’s what they play mostly at the gay bar I like. And it’s true, Toxic is one bang up job, Britney, totally excellent.

But after spending a really long time today listening to Me Against the Music (I HAD TO), and listening to it now, I have lost all love for this song. First of all, it’s probably the worst I have ever heard Madonna. And that’s saying a LOT (shhhh…foreshadowing!). And ok, you wear a suit in the video and I can’t help it that makes me kinda hot, and maybe the beats and the free cocktails bought for me by gay men made me believe briefly that I really liked this song, but now I have come to my senses. This song blows.

Also, I don’t care that you kissed Madonna

it’s not like you reached over and grabbed her titty on national television like SOMEONE I KNOW (but more on JT later). (And when I say on, I mean all over him like a slut.)

Ok now onto the songs I do not like, even with the influence of alcohol and gay men, Slave 4 U and Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman. Ok, dood, I know you had to work against the trauma of once being marketed like this:

Oh Nooooes!!!1

But seriously, dood, does that really mean that you have to start being, you know, ohmygodwhyisshesotrashy!?!?!:

Ok ok, if I’m going to be really honest, yes, ok, I want to touch you when I look at these pics, but that doesn’t mean that these songs are any better.

God, I feel dirty, in a bad way.

Wait, Sara just saved me by showing me this:

GOD BRITNEY, YOU ARE SO GROSS, JUST GO BE A BABY FACTORY AND HAVE A HAPPY LIFE.

Download: Titney Spears - Me Against the Music Featuring Madonnna, I’m A Slave 4 U, I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman
Buy the Album: Here’s an assload of Britney Spears. I mean, seriously, are you into buying her shit?

Ok, now to my boy, JT. So! Best!

FUCCCCKKKK. No, seriously. I think he pulled shit out way better than Britney, but that could be because I want to bang him so badly. I mean, yeah, he’s with Cameron Diaz (Ladies, seriously, how badly did you die when you saw her on Oprah/read about her appearance on Oprah prior to the election? I seriously died. God.), but we can put that to the side for a moment because

HOLY CRAP, DO I WANT TO HIT THAT.

Remember when the “Cry Me A River” video came out? Where you like “Awww!! Justin!” like I was? Oh man!!! Listen to “Never Again,” his little hot heart was broken! No, honey, she wasn’t good enough for you. I understand, everyone’s heart gets broken. Oh Justin, come to Mama, I’ll make it all better!

Oh guh. There is a special place in my dreams where Justin Timberlake lives. It’s in between the place where Benicio del Toro and D’Angelo live. I don’t know how or why he got there, but he seriously did.

Ok, my love for him was, again, engendered at the gay bar, between free Cosmos and Washington Apples. It’s not a pretty place, but it’s a sexy place.

Last summer I saw so many Justin Timberlake videos while being so drunk that somewhere in me I was like, “Yeah, I totally SHOULD get “Justified”" and oh god, I am so glad I did.

JT, you are so hot and dirty, I want up in that piece. I will slap your face until your nose is bleeding and your lip is split and then it’s fucking on. Kinda like this pic:

Ladies? I mean COME ON. Tell me you don’t feel that like I do. I mean, seriously. No, really. You feel that, right?

Ok, then there’s “Like I Love You”. He just loves your brain. No, he really does. If by “brains” he means your tits and ass just like when a guy tells you he thinks you have pretty eyes while he’s staring at your tits. And I don’t know, everytime I hear that line, I get really turned on.

Are you there God? It’s me, Jessica. God, does Justin love my brains, or does he mean my tits? My tits? Oh. Well, yeah, I’m totally ok with that God. Thanks for the head’s up, God, you’re great!

You can see the video, if you haven’t, on his official website, and I recommend you do, because, ohmygod.

While looking on the internets for pics for this post, I found this:

No kidding, someone actually made that.

LOL INTERNET!!!1

Ok, and then there was the post I made last month while I was nursing my heart after realizing my crush is a lost cause, which contains what is seriously my favorite JT song, and it could be argued that this is JT at his most MJ, but I seriously could give a fuck. This song makes me feel better, ok? Maybe it’s the “la la la” part. I don’t know. It just makes me feel like, so good. Bang me Justin, heal my sadnesses.

And there’s this pic, which was my desktop for like a month:

I mean, GOD. How can you not want to hit that?

And really, isn’t that what pop music boils down to most times? What you want to hit and what you don’t want to hit?

I guess this post has mostly dissolved down to: I want to hit Justin more than I want to hit Britney, but I guess I don’t care. I mean. Come on. Given the choice, really, who would you want to freak on the dance floor?

If you’re me, Justin. And that’s why he’s so best.

And that’s the end of that story.

Download: Justin Timberlake - Senorita, Like I Love You, Cry Me A River (Rip Rock Remix), Thanks Sara!, Never Again
Buy the Album: Justin Timberlake - Justified

Oh no, but wait, have you heard What You Got?? That shit is seriously hot. I guess JT can thank Timbaland for that, but jesus people. Ok sorry, it’s like 2am, enough.

Humping is so awesome that most species do it. Even flies.

Some awesomely best/worst songs for ‘hump day’.

hilary duff is such a smarmy little bitch. tiffany is where it’s at. i mean, she was just so cool. and she had red hair like me and so that made me feel less like “annie” or “anne of green gables” or just the nerdy dorkface i was and more like cool tiffany. and rivals? she was sistahs with her rivals. she and debbie (sorry, deborah) gibson were pals, even. you never put on one of their records to hear musical catfights like haters or rumours. also tiffany remained a proud redhead to the end. no blonde dyejob, even at the height of the bleach-bottle 80s. eat that, bitches. teen idols today. sigh.

Best of the Worst

A Thousand Miles struck me right in the heart the first time I heard it. It still does. It’s a perfectly crafted blend of bombast and fragile ache, manipulating me directly into (teenage) heartbreak.

……………………………………………………….

Worst of the Worst

This putrid squirt of bile was sprayed all over the place a couple of years ago. One evening, a series of unfortunate events put me at a small pre-party where the host played nothing but euro-disco, bubble-gum techno and trance. When Blue (Da Ba Dee) came on I simply couldn’t take it anymore, and asked him if this really was the best music he had to offer. It ended up in a somewhat heated discussion about popularity vs quality and him deciding that I was an asshole. I would say the resulting bad atmosphere was somewhat entertaining.

There is a way to do cheesy ballads right, and there is a way to do them terribly, horribly wrong.

RIGHT

This shit still gets me a little weepy. I hesitate to call Journey a guilty pleasure, because I so don’t feel guilty at all. You’re right, Steve, the love is worth the pain.

WRONG

Who else has the feeling Dan Hill doesn’t get touched too often? This song so makes me blow chunks.

SO FUCKING. BEST.

paper birds: oh my god, fucking best, i thought i had to dl jordan knight, but i was smart enough to bring it to this box
paper birds: BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO POST
damn baby damn: :]
paper birds: dood, help me find a pic of jordan knight from the give it to you video, with the turtleneck. HELP A SISTER OUT
paper birds: oh my god, this song is so fucking good.
paper birds: i mean
paper birds: i really hesitate to call it so best worst, because it’s really so best.
damn baby damn: hehe
paper birds: but, for the purposes of awesome, i will call it so best/worst/awesome/best again/awkward handjobs in carnival parking lots/worst because you get crabs/so best because there’s a planned parenthood across the street from your apt/so most awesome again.
paper birds: o.m.g. GOD BLESS GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH. THIS IS THE BEST WORST WORST WORST BEST!
damn baby damn: hahahaha yes
damn baby damn: this is so my favorite result so far
damn baby damn: http://www.hgd.com/gallery/image/jordan_knight_2.jpg
paper birds: omg, there are so many awesome pics, dood. i mean, seriously.
paper birds: hahaha, dood. no..
paper birds: dood, i could give a fuck about jordan knight in nkotb. it was after my time. but like, holy shit, when i heard this song i fucking PISSED MYSELF.
damn baby damn: hahaha
damn baby damn: but dude
damn baby damn: that painting
damn baby damn: omgay
paper birds: i know horrible.
damn baby damn: awesomeble
paper birds: god, these are the gayest pics ever.
damn baby damn: yes
paper birds: but i can’t help it. when i hear this song, i am just like, jordan knight, don’t talk. just dance a little bit and then work my shit out. no seriously. work that stuff.
damn baby damn: hahahahaha
paper birds: wait, why is there a pic of the cover of “hoosiers”?
damn baby damn: ??
paper birds: suddenly, i feel so…dirty.

no really, so fucking best though.

Download: Jordan Knight - Give It To ME, uh, I mean, You
Buy the Album: Dood. The single! No shit, seriously! $.90!!

ok, now:

SO FUCKING WORST:

damn baby damn: want me to dl redneck woman for you?
paper birds: dood, hook me up
damn baby damn: haha ok will do
paper birds: god, i feel kind of sick. i hate this song so much.
paper birds: i just, hate it.
paper birds: like, i’m not kidding, every woman i like at work* likes this song. and when i am brought face to face with this fact, part of my heart dies. if i believed in souls, i’d say that it actually kills my soul.
paper birds: i just, don’t get it.
paper birds: god dood. a couple weeks ago i went to bowl with some co-workers and it was rockin’ bowl and that redneck woman song came on and like, all the ladies i work with were singing along, like totally pumped and i looked around to see if anyone else was dying inside and no, it was just me, the whole fucking place was singing, all the ladies, even the hot one in the lane next to us who i could see up her skirt at her hot boyshorts everytime it was her turn, she was singing too and it was then, sara, that i knew i was alone in this world. and i cried, inside, where no one could see.
paper birds: no one could see.
damn baby damn: dude
damn baby damn: it’ll be ok
damn baby damn: just listen to jojrdan knight
damn baby damn: it’ll be okay
damn baby damn: jordan*
paper birds: i am. he’s TURNING ME OUT!
damn baby damn: hahaha
damn baby damn: ok i’m going to listen to it now
paper birds: i just, don’t get it.
paper birds: NO
paper birds: DON’T DO IT
damn baby damn: dude
paper birds: BECAUSE YOU MIGHT START SINGING IT TO ME
paper birds: AND THEN I’LL VOMIT IN MY MOUTH
paper birds: AND
paper birds: and
damn baby damn: i just listened to kokomo, even though it hurt so bad
paper birds: i don’t want to stop loving you, sara.
paper birds: i just, don’t want to stop loving you.
damn baby damn: hahahahahaha
damn baby damn: no i only told you i’d sing it to you if you didn’t have the balls to post it
paper birds: oh yeah
paper birds: but still
damn baby damn: omg
damn baby damn: i guess this song doesn’t rile me so much because i know people like this
paper birds: knowing you are listening, i can feel my lifeforce leaving me.

i might die.

Download: You Might Barf in Your Mouth if You Listen to This. No Kidding. You Have Been Warned.
Buy the Album: paper birds: i’m not linking where to buy redneck woman, i don’t want to encourage that kind of grodiness.

*If by some chance you’re one of the ladies I like at work or you are someone who knows any of the ladies I like at work, please be assured that I do, in fact, still really like you even though you like this song. Don’t be mad. LOL INTERNET!!!1

Here’s my first post for this week’s theme - THE BEST AND WORST OF THE WORST.
Basically, the idea is this: make two-song posts, and match a song that is a BEST of the worst, a guilty pleasure, with one that is a WORST of the worst, and actually makes you kind of barf in your mouth.

The Best-Worst

I found this completely on accident one day while looking for other Van Helden stuff. Though I am generally not into the Titney, I am pretty down with “Toxic,” so I checked it out and… and… DAMN. Solo dance party up in here. Ohhh yes.

The Worst-Worst

I have hated this song ever since I was six, which is, conincidentally, when it was written. When Cocktail came out was roughly around the time I was entering second grade, and this godforsaken song was everywhere. It was in the car, on the bus, at the grocery store. The only place I went where I was guaranteed never to hear about Key Largo and Montego Bay was church, and the thought makes me wish I would find the Lord someday soon. This song has inspired so much vitriol in me, for seventeen long years. Second least favorite song ever [stayed tuned for Friday].

Songs for Bird Ballet, Part Seven

picture courtesy of bird ballet

If I had known you back then, I would have put these on a mix-tape for you,

opening side one and

opening side two.

The cover would have been a map, and the song list would have been written on a paper bird.

Download: The Verve - Already There / Slowdive - Blue Skied an’ Clear
Buy the Album: The Verve - A Storm in Heaven / Slowdive - Pygmalion

I spent too much time looking around hyc and decided I’d post something at least marginally sexy. This song was seminal to a lot of the fumbly groping I was privy to in junior high and high school.

God, even thinking about this song makes me queasy - good-queasy.

Songs for Bird Ballet, Part Six

I will send you pictures, of everything and

eventually the thought of you will be connected with the taste of lemonade and

we share sekrit coincidences and

if it seems like I’m courting you

I don’t think I mean to be.

Download: Jeremy Enigk - Lewis Hollow, Lizard, Shade and the Black Hat, Explain (Live)
Buy the Album: Jeremy Enigk - Return of the Frog Queen, End Session

Image by mikhail margolis, and not actually of an Italian

Lately, I want to learn Italian and spend some time there, maybe a year, doing very stereotypical “cool, unaffected Italian” things like riding a Lambretta around, wearing sunglasses, and smoking cigarettes.
This is pre-empted by my dire need to get my French back in working order and return to France to live and do stereotypical “cool, unaffected French” things, like be rude, get laid, and smoke Gitanes.
This of course has nothing to do with the Dog Faced Hermans, except that this is their take on an Italian traditional. C’est si bon.

I’ve uploaded an Andre Williams song already but I think both of these songs are only fitting for a post titled Valhalla! I am coming! or, Great Things to Say in the Sack, Mark One:“I’m gonna leave my change in your pocket, that’s right, I’m fuckin ya.” “Omg, Lewis and Clark are so ready to explore the Dismal Swamp.” “It’s rainy season in your Okefenokee, isn’t it, sugar? Isn’t it?” “Oh! The River-Lock is Broken, it’s flooding your Fens!” “Angry dwarf! Angry, angry dwarf!” “I wanna empty out my sunset in your crappy hovel.” “Mm. The Colosseum is reeeeeeal crowded.” “You’re a hot-blooded woman, child. It’s warm where you’re touching me.”

Just download this track.

I can’t even talk about it. I’ve been waiting for this “Sitarsploitation” album on CD for a number of years, and it has finally arrived.

Listen and you’ll want one too.

Sometimes my computer’s mp3 player knows what I need better than I do, no kidding. I’d like to have it recorded in the great book that Random fucking rules over you.

Witness: Tonight Sara and I were busting open this girl’s cervix on hyc and like, this song came on my headphones and holy fuckeroo I jizzed everywhere.

Seriously, I flooded my keyboard.

I love Gene.

That’s really all I have to say about that except

my bathroom smells like star gazer lilies because I have the most girlie gastro-intestinal tract, ever.

Songs for Bird Ballet, Part Five

picture courtesy of bird ballet

We can go to the most northern coast of California, and we can

build treehouses that hang over the sea and

I’ll make you breakfast with tea and cut pluots and pears and currants and

I’ll buy you film every day if you promise

that I can develop your pictures every night.

Download: Martina Topley-Bird - Sandpaper Kisses / Nearly God - Poems / Diplo - Into the Sun (Featuring Martina Topley-Bird)
Buy the Album: Martina Topley-Bird - Quixotic / Nearly God - Poems / Diplo - Florida

Oh, come on, people. He’s a hilbilly vampire from space who hates Rock & Roll and somehow he got signed to Capitol Nashville and he just wants to warn you about what’s going to happen when you and he get to getting your dirty on (as you and he are going to do). What could be simpler than that?

Pulp cover Rita Coolidge’s 1983 Bond theme, with a little help from their friends.

Songs of Memory, Part Three

Tonight, I was reminded of a time when I would get his letters, and

just press them to my face to see if they smelled like him and

run the pages along my collarbones, because he had touched them and

slept with them in my pillow for a month after it was over.

Download: Suba - Segredo / Lamb - Zero / Tricky - Strugglin’
Buy the Album: Suba - Sao Paolo Confessions / Lamb - Self-Titled / Tricky - Maxinquaye

Songs for Late Summer Afternoons

alex chilton

Because life is fair, I didn’t find out about Big Star until after I was a teenager. What kind of horseshit is that?

A huge pile of horseshit, that’s what kind.

Chances are, you all know about Big Star and did when you were a teen and you got to drive around in the late summer between junior and senior year smoking cigarettes and drinking cans of beer in the back of your friend’s car going nowhere while “In the Street” or “Back of a Car” was cranked up and you probably got “Thirteen” on a mix tape from the first boy who you ever let go to third and probably “I am the Cosmos” was playing on the stereo as you rode home sitting shotgun after staying out all night at the fort with your friends smoking grass and watching the sun come up and that’s fucking great, lucky you, I’m not jealous.

Now, basically, I want to relive this, or live this rather, so somebody come pick me up in your trans-am, it’s Tuesday afternoon on a beautiful August day and I still haven’t showered today and my hair’s all ratty and I’m completely up for driving to Mt. Rainier with the sun at our backs and just kind of hanging out together while we sing “Ballad of El Goodo”. We can park and drink tallboys and make out while “You and Your Sister” is on.

No, seriously.

Download: Big Star - In the Street, Back of a Car, Thirteen, I am the Cosmos, Ballad of El Goodo, You and Your Sister
Buy the Album: Big Star - Story

This right here is my jam, yo - check out the rinky-dinky rollerskate Farfisa organs, the go-go beats, the awesome boasting in the verses, my mission of 1000% ass-shake in the 2K5 will not be stopped by man or beast. It’s still hot outside and that ain’t gonna change for awhile so you might as well tear the sleeves off of your shirt and get a little something something done.

I wish I heard more debut albums like Scott Solter’s The Brief Light, just out on dark ambient/noise label Manifold.

If you wish O Yuki Conjugate were still making records (and I know I do), Solter’s debut is a must. OYC aren’t the only sound fathers, though�I can detect the masterful collaborations between Sylvian and Czukay in the guitar work, the fourth world atmospheres of Jon Hassell in the pacing and percussion, and the tribal musicality of some of Bill Laswell’s stronger projects in the mood. Solter’s instrumentality is clean, well-produced, and practiced; his influences diverse and digested.

Perhaps it isn’t ground-breaking stuff (and who cares?), but it’s powerful and strong ethno-tribal music�a style that doesn’t get nearly enough attention. Manifold’s packaging is, as usual, luxuriant, with the disc packed in a sleeve of burlap adorned with twigs. This album is absolutely going to be on my top-ten of 2005, no question.

Songs for Andrew.

You bet your sweet ass, etc.