connexion: the selector

Songs for Journals, Part Two

Another journal entry I found last night, but I feel like i could have written it, again, tonight.

I think that the tone of this post will please Kthor more.

But really, this post is for my Bird Ballet (Part 4). Miss Lantern, I can picture driving up and down the PCH at night listening to these songs too loud, singing and laughing until we get so excited that we park the car and run down the beach into the ocean.

Oh!

04 Sept 01 2004, 237am:

oh my god.

what the fuck has happened to me?

i’m seriously going through something that i think most people go through in their early twenties. or at least it seems that way.

i want to go out and do EVERYTHING. i want to try EVERYTHING.

what the hell? i used to be scared of everything.

i don’t feel scared anymore.

what the hell is going on? SERIOUSLY.

i want to try new drugs and go dancing and like, paint and draw birds and play with minty and maybe find even more new friends.

whatever happened to me in the last week, i feel like everything’s broken open.

does this happen to other people? do they go from being totally shy and afraid to go outside to wanting to find everything new they can get their hands and minds into?

seriously, every night i feel like going out dancing and having fun.

i mean, i haven’t really done that yet, but soon i will.

it’s a big enough change for me to even feel like it.

i’m fucking pumped.

i’m going to the salon tomorrow for some pampering. it’s amazing what you can afford when you’re not going out drinking every night, or spending about $30/wk on cigarettes.

next paycheck, i’m gonna continue the pampering and get a pedi.

also, i figured out what amelia’s theme song is. it’s “micro mini cool” by takako minekawa.

go download it, and imagine her running knock-kneed around my apartment, chasing the shiny catnip ball of death.

i’m gonna go dance and sing now.

it’s a really fucking amazing feeling to actually like yourself, flaws and all.

Download: Echobelly - Car Fiction, Great Things
Buy the Album: Echobelly - On

This feels good. Mystery Science Theater 3000 puts me in hysterics. I quiver, gasp, and put my finger up to my nose. If you were in the room, you’d probably want me to stop and I’d probably throw something at you.

Songs for Journals

Tonight I was going through old journal entries and I remembered writing this one really clearly.

This entry is also for Laura.

08 February 2005:

these last three nights i have come home and made a study of emptiness in its various forms
drinking tea instead of eating meals, my stomach learning to hollow itself out to make way for
the music i have been listening to and the
talking to people through cable transmissions while i figured out a way to become
smaller and smaller, folding up softly within myself like my favorite paper fans from my childhood
tiny tears forming along my creases
the coaxing out of small tendernesses while i figured the penstrokes
that i have been keeping secret
the letters that i have been meaning to write
small journals filled with worrying and longing
dark red ink, .03
collecting stamps in quiet rows and vellum envelopes with pictures pasted to the insides

i use the tea as a way to get the honey into my mouth while i think about how
i miss having places to send my confessions, the idea of the papers being stacked under pillows, falling under a bed
the promises written on the rubber cement side of collages made for someone
who i wondered about, wrote lines about along my walls
who i would send letters to, lined with lemon juice pressed lip prints
whose correspondence i could wrap ribbon around and hide away in the cedar box my brother made me when he was in 8th grade
i still have little nemo in slumberland stamps hidden in that box, i have been saving them for special messages, i have my hand traced on rice paper to send
to the right one

Download: Piano Magic - I Came to Your Party Dressed as a Shadow / Lily Chou-Chou - Houwa
Buy the Album: Piano Magic - I Came to Your Party Dressed as a Shadow EP / Lily Chou-Chou - Kokyuu

Songs for Bird Ballet, Part Three

picture courtesy of shanghai soup

I have amazing things to tell you.

Download: Connie Francis - Siboney / Zhou Xuan - Shanghai Night / Nat King Cole - Stay as Sweet as You Are
Buy the Album: Connie Francis - Sings Spanish and Latin American Favorites / Zhou Xuan - Songs of Zhou Xuan Golden Hits (Vol. 1) / Nat King Cole - Sings for Lovers Only

Man, there’s too much negativity and mopey points around this jernt lately. Here, here’s how it’s going to work - administrationists, change my title to #1 AMBASSADOR OF GOODTIMES, OLD STYLE. Then get yourself a tall cool glass of lemonade and a big umbrella. Invite some friends over and tell them to wear short skirts and shirts without sleeves. Let the dogs run around in the yard. It’s Goddamned summer and you shouldn’t be sitting inside with the AC running eating day-old Thai food and watching Whoopi Goldberg movies on TBS, you should be shaking that crazy stupid ass to whatever makes it shake. This is a totally corny old Kim Fowley jam and there must be a million dances you could do to it. Get on it. A million billion stars. I’ll see you on Monday with another song.

Songs for My Bird Ballet, Part Two

picture courtesy of fu-ko ueda

Sekrit twins share flower petals and butterfly wings.

I depend on you to catalogue all the exploding Southern California sunsets and gentle high tides that my skin longs for, sub rosa.

Download: Antony & the Johnsons - You Are My Sister / Antony & the Johnsons Featuring Rufus Wainwright - What Can I Do? / Rufus Wainwright - Baby
Buy the Album: Antony & the Johnsons - I am a Bird Now / Rufus Wainwright - Self-Titled

listen to this and die. it makes me want to fly to space and be shot out to jupiter and become absorbed in its gases and to dissolve.

I was driving home when this came on the radio (KFJC 89.7). I was singing along before I even knew the words.
Does anybody know a cute girl… with some pom poms?

I started listening to my old Blake Babies records again. Ah, memories.
I was way into them when I was but a wee lass. I�m glad I rekindled my love affair with them though, because I redsicovered the goodness of this Dinosaur Jr. cover.

Made this mix last year [hence the 04] and am mostly just posting it for Andrew’s benefit, but, who knows, someone else might like it.

I played this in my 3D Design class once last fall, and people were kind of, “this is weird,” and I was, sarcastically, all, “I’m sorry it’s too obscure for you.”
This is not obscure stuff at all. And it’s probably the least weird of the stuff I listen to. :/

yuji oniki - between beds and clocks
the cat’s miaow - aurora
aberdeen - cities and buses
the bartlebees - you’re still beautiful
bunnygrunt - i just had broken-heart surgery, love won’t bypass me again
the ampersands - tell me what i can do
call and response - i know you want me
silver apples - i have known love
swell maps - secret island
cub - the day we met
beat happening - i’ve lost you
fat tulips - i promise you
the flatmates - turning you blue
the lucksmiths - t-shirt weather
the shop assistants - all that ever mattered
marine girls - falling again
tullycraft - mental obsession
starlight mints - submarine #3
thee headcoatees - true to you
jonathan richman - that summer feeling
the orchids - welcome to my curious heart
the notwist - one dark love poem
felt - down but not yet out
jesus and mary chain - just like honey

Songs for Floating, Naked

drawing by michiko kimura

Midnight-thirty, in space.

Download: Tujiko Noriko - Robot Hero (Live), Marble Waltz, Machi-No-Kakera, Fly
Buy the Album: Tujiko Noriko - I Forgot the Title, Shoji Toshi, Make Me Hard (Hard Ni Sasete)

These are some indigenous fruits of the amazonian rain forests in Brazil.

Songs for Bleeding

picture courtesy of google image search. this is a hut, which my ancestors had in ancient times and some ethiopian jews still use when ladies are in their bleeding time. this is also what my apt has felt like for the last two days.

paper birds: for the first time ever, i have had cramps that were so bad that i vomitted. i have had cramps so bad that i couldn’t walk. in fact, i called into work today because i am walk-crawling everywhere in my apartment at the really bad points (read: the points at which i am not in bed with the heating pad, my hoodie pulled over my eyes, crying). but i had never had them so bad that i actually puked. today, i feel like a real woman.

(a nap, many ibuprofen and various herbal supplements with names like “moon cycle”, “woman support”, “let’s all sit together and feel the goddess power”, etc, later)

paper birds: ok, so in honor of my bleeding like death, i am making a post on the selector. would it cause cognitive dissonance if i posted cat power (obvious vagina rock) and tim buckley (not obvious vagina rock)?
damn baby damn: haha i don’t know
paper birds: me neither. brb, i need to change my armor.
damn baby damn: okay

…

paper birds: holy crap, seriously
paper birds: it’s not like changing my armor bothers me, but sometimes, well. just sometimes, you know?
damn baby damn: oh no i know
damn baby damn: it always bothers me
damn baby damn: well, not doing it
paper birds: it’s kind of fascinating, i think
damn baby damn: but the fact that i have to do so
paper birds: all that blood, without, you know, death.
paper birds: I’M IMMORTAL.
paper birds: and as an immortal, i decided i don’t care if it’s cognitively dissonant, i’m posting what i want.
damn baby damn: ok good for you
damn baby damn: i mean that in an empowerment sort of way
damn baby damn: not an asshole sort of way
paper birds: hahaha, thanks
damn baby damn: i just didn’t want to say “you go girl” because that makes me want to barf, that phrase
paper birds: you go girl!
paper birds: that’s one of the most funny things a person can say, i think
damn baby damn: the funniest thing i’ve ever heard anyone say, ever…
damn baby damn: is “shrugs” while shrugging
damn baby damn: it was some girl my friend j knows
damn baby damn: it made my brain reel and hurt
paper birds: HAHAHHAHAHAHA
paper birds: i’m going to start saying that
paper birds: DOOD, IRC CHAT ACTION FOREVER.
damn baby damn: you know, like on the LOL INTERNET, when people put asterisks around actions
damn baby damn: yes, exactly
damn baby damn: *shrugs*
paper birds: LOLZ
paper birds: don’t me laugh so hard that my newly placed armor flies out of my strawberry patch.

ok, now be serious. no more laughing. i’m in pain people. serious, debilitating, horrendous, dizzying pain.

so, to truly enjoy these songs, go back to your worst period ever. or maybe you had a baby (oh god, that’s supposed to be worse). if you’re a dood, kick yourself in the slats.

think about the pain. feel the nausea. hurt with me.

Download: Cat Power - In This Hole, Good Clean Fun / Tim Buckley - Sing a Song for You, Song to the Siren (Alternate Version)
Buy the Album: Cat Power - Covers Record, What Would The Community Think / Tim Buckley - Works in Progress

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #1: Jarvis Cocker of Pulp & Relaxed Muscle

Jarvis is one of my favorite people on the planet, period. I mean, DAMN, he’s smooooth. He’s just… he’s just… sdfkjksdlfkjalkjda.

And in Relaxed Muscle, he plays in corpse paint. So best.

[Disclaimer: This list has been a bit innaccurate, because I have omitted Ian Curtis, because I posted four Joy Division songs for Jessica recently, and they were my four favorites; and because I have omitted Stephen Patrick Morrissey, the great and wondeful Moz, because, in my opinion, Morrissey is beyond the scope of lists. If I could make a “Number Infinity,” Moz would occupy that space.]

Songs for 500 Pound Babies and Crazy Horse

Songs for Bird Ballet

picture courtesy of bird ballet

Because today when I was riding in the cab with the Ethiopian man, the clouds looked like lily pads in the sky, and I imagined you on the beach with sand between your fingers and toes.

Download: Sea and Cake - Parasol / Shoestrings - Naked
Buy the Album: Sea and Cake - Nassau / Shoestrings - Wishing on Planes

Not all days are dark days.

Happy birthday, Pop.

Download: Alemayehu Eschete - Honey Baby
Buy the Album: Ethiopiques 8: Swinging Addis

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #2: Brett Anderson of Suede

Mmmmmmmmm. Brett. Sounds like a chick, looks like a chick. My kind of man.

it is 101 degrees in kansas city, missouri, today and my air conditioner is broke.
what’s your temperature?
if you post a reply you’ll be remembered in the afterlife.

And you … unearthed.

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #3: Shane MacGowan of The Pogues & The Popes

[OK, now, if you’re marginally familiar with The Pogues you’re probably thinking, “Sara, Shane’s not British, he’s Irish,” but no, he was born in England, lived most of his formative years in London. His parents are Irish. Technically, he’s a Brit.]

What can I say about Shane fucking MacGowan? The man is an angel and a trainwreck. He’s a leper and a priest.

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #4: Beth Gibbons of Portishead

I can still remember when I first heard Portishead. It was about 15 years ago, and there used to be this great college radio station out of Boston that just barely came in up here, and I was sitting outside with my stereo plugged into the outdoor outlet, and I heard that voice, Beth’s voice, and I stared at the radio as if it had sprouted a head, and laid back my head in the grass, totally enchanted.

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #5: Neil Hannon aka The Divine Comedy

Neil is one of those men who is keeping the “classic dandy” alive. He’s cheeky, stylish, and very sexy. And his voice is golden, just golden.

Songs for My Brother, Part One

Art and cigarettes, music and shelter from nightmares. You are the one who knows my heart.

I miss you already, sweet man.

Download: Jeff Buckley - You and I (Unreleased Guitar Version), Woke Up in a Strange Place (Acoustic), Curatins (Live Elton John Cover), What Will You Say (Live), Satisfied Mind
Buy the Album: Probably everything available by Jeff Buckley. Go nuts.

my car was just involved in a hit and run on 39th and main by a man who thought it’d be smooth to try and run a red light. i’ve sent him a legion of predatorial cats and carved karma into his shadow flesh with a sword. it’s unfortunate, really, that he doesn’t know the universe is going to explode on him. what’s funny is, i knocked that motherfucker’s bumper RIGHT OFF and only got paint scratches on my car. BITCH.
i’d like to give gratitude to the man at the traffic light who tried to temper my fever.

(Rather than steal Ms. nh’s thunder and post another Trembling Blue Stars song as I’d intended and then have to say something embarrassingly personal about it that really nobody wants to hear especially about me, there is this) I typed, the snow fell. I typed more and the snow fell more. I got sick. I got headaches. I got worried about flying over Greenland and the Atlantic Ocean, especially the Atlantic. I got more headaches, I typed more. I got too lazy to turn on the light and tried to play this song on the piano, and made a horrible mess. But the hardwood floors were nice, I always liked those.

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #6: Ian Brown of The Stone Roses

Anyone else ever notice Ian’s resemblance to Karen Carpenter? That’s kind of creepy. Did you know Ian has his own special design of Adidas Superstar shoes? He does [and they’re kind of ugly, sorry Ian]. I think Ian is even supposed to be in the next Harry Potter movie, which is a little “wtf?” but it’s okay, because he’s truly, truly fabulous.

Ever wish there was more Roy Montgomery music like Temple IV or Scenes from the South Island?

You could have picked up the three-LP set called Harmony of the Spheres put out by Drunken Fish back in 1996. It was pretty. It was limited. It had music by Bardo Pond, Jessamine, Flying Saucer Attack, Loren Mazzacane Connors, Charalambides, and our Roy. They all got a side of an LP to do their thing, and, of course, we all know that Roy’s side got the most plays at Mister Eden’s house.

CD reissue ensures we all get to play this track over and over and over….

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #7: Robert Wratten of Field Mice/Northern Picture Library/Trembling Blue Stars

I guess this means I’m outting myself as a sappy, romantic, twee person. Oh well. I’m not sure anyone else’s songs have made me cry more than Robert’s.

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #8a/8b: Amelia Fletcher of Heavenly/Talulah Gosh and Louise Wener of Sleeper

I couldn’t choose! If I had to pick one, I’d probably choose Amelia, because I always want to pick her up and squish her, but it’s my damn list, and I do what I want. These two go together fairly well, for they both have this uncanny ability to not just write cute and catchy pop songs, but ones whose subjects are decidedly uncute. The Heavenly song is about an abusive relationship; the Sleeper song is a two-and-a-half minute long insult.

Okay, enough of all these vocals; it’s time to get back to bleak, psychoactive landscapes.

Ora was a loose collective of musicians with Andrew Chalk and Darren Tate as main members. Starting in 1991, they released a number of impossible to find cassettes (one of which “Approach to Zero” hails from) and, eventually, CDRs, CDs, and LPs. These were also all limited in number, all frustratingly difficult to find.

Ora ended recently, allowing its members to proceed with other ongoing projects, most notably Andrew Chalk’s drone-ambient project with Christoph Heemann: Mirror�a project highly recommended by this Selector.

“Approach to Zero” was included on the Alio Die split CD, The Door of Possibilities on the fine Hic Sunt Leones ambient label. Rather than include a tray card, the case was filled with dried flowers, seed pods, leaves, and other plant detritus. You’ll find this appropriate when you listen to Ora�surely music for humid days outdoors, the sweltering air appearing to reverberate around you.

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #11 & 12: Grant McLennan & Robert Forster

And finally, Grant or Robert?

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #9: Carolyn Allen & Caesar of The Wake

I couldn’t seperate these two. Caesar and Carolyn meld so well, and the sound of The Wake that gives me chills is their doing.

Sara Danger’s Favorite Brits - #10: Crispin Hunt of The Longpigs

Oh man, is he dreamy. The poor Longpigs. Their debut album, The Sun Is Often Out is such a marvelous outing, but then their sophomore - and final - effort, Mobile Home, is a big time flop - with the exception of the song “Blue Skies.” The Longpigs never really got the chance to live up to their potential, but hey, at least Crispin Hunt is still totally dreamy.

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #10: Richard Ashcroft

(One for me and one for dear Jessica.)

Guys, I have a confession. I kind of miss the 90’s. The early 90’s, more specifically ‘93-’95. Maybe it’s because, in only the past week, I’ve seen Singles, Reality Bites, and Empire Records again. Perhaps I’ve been brainwashed by television. I was in junior high at the time, which is already this magical time of early teenhood discovery. My early adolescence was riddled with albums of the grunge/college/indie-rock [particularly of the old Matador sound, as in, before they signed JSBX and started to suck] genre, knee-high Doc Martens and black mary janes, baby doll dresses and layered shirts, poetry collections and journals full of angsty ramblings, poorly done skateboard tricks, summers in Vermont, and feeling too old to be that young. I fell for a skater, an artist, a guitar player, and a juvenile delinquent. I danced with the skater at school dances, I wrote song lyrics with the delinquent, and I dated the guitar player, for a year.
My nostalgia is really bad. I bid, albeit not very much, on a pair of 20-eye Docs on eBay tonight. I downloaded the Juliana Hatfield Three and Throwing Muses. I want a skater poet to come over and try, and fail, to teach me to play guitar, and to sit and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes with him on the floor. I want to be 23, instead of 13, in the time when Seattle and Winona Ryder reigned supreme.

This woman is my soul twin. Do not be fooled.

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #9: Malcolm Mooney

(Eight years and I still get chills every time I hear this.)

Songs for Hurricanes

tardbaby666: dennis is such a good name for a hurricane
UnTigreDePapier: like a disgruntled postal worker.
UnTigreDePapier: i wonder what a hurricane would look like with sunglasses and a parasole.
UnTigreDePapier: i bet he’d be fucking the kool-aid man.
tardbaby666: hahaha

Songs of Memory, Part Two

There was a time.

Download: Smoke City - Underwater Love / Alpha - Portable Livingroom / Goldfrapp - Deer Stop
Buy the Album: Smoke City - Flying Away / Alpha - Stargazing / Goldfrapp - Felt Mountain

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #8: Bryan Ferry

Songs for a Crush, In Three Parts

Crushing, crushed, and dealing with it.

Download: Alicia Keys - You Don’t Know My Name / Justin Timberlake - Still On My Brain / Dawn Penn - You Don’t Love Me
Buy the Album: Alicia Keys - The Diary of Alicia Keys / Justin Timberlake - Justified / Dawn Penn - No, No, No

Country music has always been a part of my life. I think my mom tried to brainwash me with Loretta Lynn tapes when I was young, and I resisted as long as possible. That was before I actually learned to listen.
Some of the songs that have been passed down to me have gotten under my skin and broken my heart. After I learned to let them. Here are some of my favorites.

Gin makes me a protective lover and I’m sorry because I want to drink you! sober with tonic water.

Songs for Jessica.

photo courtesy of myself

“We’re not our skin of grime, we’re not our dread bleak dusty imageless locomotive, we’re all golden sunflowers inside,
blessed by our own seed & hairy naked accomplishment-bodies growing into mad black formal sunflowers in the sunset”
-Allen Ginsberg

Songs for Sara

Because we are all shining, and we are all alone.

Download: Joy Division - Twenty Four Hours , Novelty, Komakino, These Days
Buy the Album: Joy Division - Heart and Soul

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #7: Paul Buchanan

describe this song in five words or less: wip-its, fuzzy, pac-man, adderall, japan.

Songs of Loneliness, Part Three

There is darkness in all my corners.

Download: Godspeed You! Black Emperor - The Dead Flag Blues (Edit) / Juno - The Great Salt Lake, Leave a Clean Camp and a Dead Fire
Buy the Album: Godspeed You! Black Emperor - F#A# Infinity / Juno - This is the Way it Goes and Goes and Goes

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #6: Tom Waits

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #5: Ian McCulloch

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #4: Mark Hollis

(If you haven’t heard Talk Talk past their synth-pop hits of the 80s, prepare yourself for a surprise. Post-rock before the term was invented for Bark Psychosis�who, incidentally, “stole” their sound.)

Songs for Hallways

Don’t be fooled, we are equally damaged.

Download: Blonde Redhead - Four Damaged Lemons (3rd Eye Remix), Melody (French Version)
Buy the Album: Blonde Redhead - Melodie Citronique, Secret Society of Butterflies

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #3: Elizabeth Fraser

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #2: Steve Kilbey

Songs for Margot, Part II

Mister Eden’s Favorite Voices, #1: Brian Eno